A Weekend Ramble, and An Offer!

Ok it might be more of a rant...

It was a crazy busy weekend last weekend as my eldest daughter turned, unbelievably- to me at least- 30. But… HOW?!

I managed to squeeze in a lovely run before I had to be suited and booted, ready for the first celebratory lunch of the weekend. And the birthday celebrations continue for Poppie, but sadly not for Jamie and I as we find ourselves on childcare duty this weekend for both of our grandchildren as both daughters head to London for a bottomless brunch.

It seems as if suddenly I have blinked and overnight turned into someone who stays at home looking after children, whilst others go out and party. I feel half torn about what I begrudge more- reaching the stage of life where I’m not invited to the party, or potentially not being able to fit my run in!

It still feels a bit taboo saying anything negative at all about spending time looking after my grandchildren, women are only just coming out of the wood work admitting that they want a childfree life, and I’m not at all convinced it’s socially acceptable for grandparents to say that they’re too busy to look after their grandchildren, grand parenting is meant to be the best thing ever, after all!

Please don’t get me wrong, I of course love and adore them, but I also had this idea of what this stage of my life might look like, when my children were finally “grown up”, and having to be on hand for childcare for their children wasn’t necessarily part of the plan. I also had this fantasy that grand parenting small children wouldn’t involve all the same elements of parenting small children, that they’d just pitch up to Nanna and Grandpa’s house excited to see us, they wouldn’t moan or throw their food around, need the toilet or need their nappy changing. Of course, that is absolutely not the case!

This week, as I’ve been recovering from the birthday celebrations I’ve also been thinking about whether my life has really changed that much in the last 30 years espcially when I look after my 2 grandchildren, it sometimes feels as though I’m no further forward than I was 30 years ago- well ok, 28 years ago- with 2 children under 2.

The struggles haven’t changed that much, I’m still trying to get a double buggy through a shop doorway with a slither of dignity in tact. I’m still in the M&S cafe trying to grab a desperately needed coffee, steering the double buggy whilst balancing a tray with 2 apple juices, 2 Colin the Caterpillar mini cakes (ok, these are new and a god send!), find 2 seats, grab the highchair, clean the highchair, take one child at a time out of the buggy, all whilst simultaneously answering the endless WHY questions, get them settled, fold the buggy up, put it out of the way……..you get the idea, in fact you might well have seen me!

The difference now though, is a) I’m ignored by most staff I encounter and b) I have to learn all these new shiny rules of “soft” parenting, and trust me neither of these things are for the faint hearted!

So, to the point of my Substack this week (we got there eventually! thanks for letting me get that all off my chest…), is to share with you why I’ve recently decided to put a paywall on some of my articles. I hope that if you’ve continued reading up to this point, you get the general gist that it’s because I often share stories or experiences that are about more than just my running trials and tribulations. These are often more of a personal reflection on the intersections between running and life- how I’m navigating trying to fit running in with the demands of 2 daughters, 2 grandchildren (another on the way) as well as keeping my business going.

I hope my reflections will offer a sense of “I’m not alone” as I continue to trawl through the research in the hope of finding supporting evidence of this new mid-life, life. Sometimes finding the reasons or the “whys” can help to feel less isolated, I know there’s not too much out there about the complexities of post-menopausal, neurodivergent runners- so I really am just making this all of us I go along, without a guidebook!

Of course, when you’re putting yourself “out there”, which I naturally do because I always aim to be as honest as humanly possible, it can feel a bit exposing. Having a paywall on some posts will allow me to keep my promise of honesty, whilst protecting myself (and probably my sanity!).

If you’d like to support my writing and if these subjects feel like they reflect your life too, I’ve set up an offer for 50% off for a whole year, and it’s valid until the end of the year.

Thanks so much- wishing you all a wonderful weekend, and please spare a thought for me at the soft play!

Love,

Verity x